“Do you know how stressful it is to parallel-park when there’s someone behind you? Imagine blocking a whole hemisphere.” —...
“Things got so out of hand that on Saturday, the city was forced to declare a state of emergency and...
“The N.C.A.A. March Madness basketball tournament began today, and it’s extra exciting because there was no tournament last year. So...
“Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in...
“During his first press conference today, President Biden said, quote, ‘I got elected to solve problems.’ Um, OK, so what...
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they...
“In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.” ~Mark Twain...
“If somebody said ‘N95’ to you one year ago, you’d think they were a bingo caller.” ~Jimmy Kimmel...
What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite! What do you call a duck that...
