So last week Hollywood rolled out its first trailer for the new movie Noah, which – apparently – is a real thing.
Now, a lot has already been written about how the current over-mediated entertainment market makes it difficult for original stories to get onto the big screen, given the cost of producing (and marketing) films and the risk associated with failure. This is why franchises are so important: you don’t need to sell people as hard on something with which they’re already familiar.
Religious films have proven popular, even in recent years (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and The Passion made $745 million and $611 million worldwide). Such films are appreciated by entertainment-conscious parents – such as you’ll find in Utah – who like to go to the movies as a family, but not if it means supporting, say, atheist penguins. So I’m not surprised that Hollywood might eventually turn to the Bible to find source material for its endless gristmill of gritty, realistic reboots.
Though I am surprised they wouldn’t pick those Biblical figures with more interesting stories – Moses, Abraham, Joseph, Esther, David, etc. The thing about the Noah story is it’s just one-dimensional: he builds a boat, it rains, and that’s it. There’s no character journey. There’s no – for lack of a better phrase – arc.
Although I am looking forward to the deluge (ha) of stupid puns the film will generate. Will it sink or swim? Can Russell Crowe keep his head above water? Will Noah get two of every thumbs up? Will people flood the theaters? Are audiences going to say “No-ah thank you”?
Seriously though the whole thing just seems like a joke from Jimmy Kimmel Live.
